The Smith family: St George Ironman

I have been needing to write about my attempt at the St. George Ironman since May! I just haven't really wanted to revisit it!

So......

May 5, 2012. Known as the toughest Ironman in the world. No doubt the toughest Ironman bike course on the planet. A life long dream to complete an Ironman. Why St. George? Because it is on a Saturday. Most others are on Sunday. I originally planned for Couer d'Alene, but in the end couldn't compete in it on Sunday. I didn't think it would bother me....3 kids looking at me like "really mom?" To make a long story short...a long story of agonizing over how BADLY I had to do an Ironman, how hard I had trained.... I signed up for St George because it was, of course, still open. All other Ironmans sell out right away, but not this one, no one wants to do it! 2012 was to be the last year of Ironman St George because it never did sell out.

This took eight weeks off my training, but it was my only choice if I didn't want to wait over a year to get into a different Ironman. I was exhausted already and ready to just get it over with. I couldn't imagine training for another year plus. So I went for it, knowing it was a long shot because of the course, but also knowing that if I just plugged along I could do it.

The morning of the race was beautiful. Safety kayakers getting ready on Sand Hollow Reservoir.

Not very many pink caps.....less than 20% of the field were women.

Looking at this pictures is giving me a panic attack! Because I know what is about to happen!

But even then, I felt like a lamb to the slaughter. I was almost numb. Looking back I just forced myself to put one foot in front of the other. I was so nervous, felt so unprepared, and also had a head cold! But sometimes there is no better way OUT of a situtation than to be all the way IN!

I lined up to the left of this picture. I wanted to be in the center, but to start about 3/4 toward the back of the crowd.

The start. Chaotic. But I felt great. I was passing people and staying calm. I had trained swimming 2.5 in the pool (boring boring boring) but I was WAY nervous and open water swimming is a head game for me. It wouldn't be fast, but my plan was to just keep moving forward at all times.

The wind starts.

From my perspective, about five minutes in, I was really annoyed because I was wondering why the safety boats were causing a wake! Didn't they know we were trying to swim!

If only it had been the boats! 35 mile winds. Total chaos ensued. People panicked. You couldn't see the buoys. We couldn't tell which direction to swim toward!

I wasn't scared. I had prepped myself for swim panic because of my disastrous Boise 70.3 swim. I knew it had to keep my head. I thought how I had swam rapids, big waves didn't scare me. But Bummer. Fighting 4 foot swells is hard. The longest section of the swim, 1.2 miles in a straight line, went directly against the wind. Hundreds of people got into safety boats. Safety kayaks were flipping and flying across the lake.

On the shore Darren said people were freaking out. 1700 people in that kind of water was not a good thing. I wouldn't let myself look at my watch because I knew it would send me into a panic. You have to finish the 2.4 mile swim in 2:20 or you can't continue. I had 1:30 - 1:36 in my head for my time. I needed every minute after that for the bike. I finally looked at my watch when I was on the back side of the island and had at least 1/2 mile left. 1:54! I was so frustrated and went into overdrive. I quickly realized all that effort didn't make much difference against the waves and if I was going to finish this thing I had many miles to go ......I just settled back in and realized there were many people in the same position I was in.

Coming into the finish I could see volunteers lifting people out of the water like rag dolls. Would I be able to stand? The clock said 2:17 when I got out. I had totaly mixed emotions about whether I was even glad I made the cut off. I was wiped and pretty bonky. That is a long time without food at that effort and my body felt it. The volunteers literally dressed me. I didn't even so much as put on a sock. They shoved my banana in my hand and said "Go! You made that swim! You made that swim! You can do it!"

Off I went. 112 miles of biking in front of me.

The wind was horrendous. I was pushing it to go 10 mph at times. It took me an hour to get enough food in me to make me feel like I even wanted to go on. After about 20 miles and a few hundred calories I was really excited to be there! The climb up to Gunlock was brutal. It is steep. The wind was screaming.

25 miles out from the first cut off I knew I wouldn't make it. With that wind there was no way I could make it. I shed a few tears. I felt love and gratitude for Darren who didn't blink an eye at letting me throw money at a race that was a long shot just to let me feel that I tried.

I missed the cut off at mile 65 by less than 10 minutes. In other races they would have let you continue, but this was a road closure and the Highway Dept was dead set on opening it that time.

Lots of people pulled up to the cut off. There was lots of swearing and crying. I wondered how they hadn't realized 20 even 30 miles back that they weren't going to make it? More people missed the cut off than in any other Ironman in history, like by double! This did help me feel better:)

I rode back to town and had a heck of a time getting hooked up with my family. Nice volunteers let me use their phones. The bummer thing was that I really wasn't even tired. I had trained to ride another 45 and then run 26.2.

I cried for two weeks. But I also felt that this was not my time. I did not feel a sense of urgency to sign up for another one to get it done. Still don't, really. Maybe it will come back. But deep inside I know I had it in me to finish an Ironman, probably any Ironman but that one on that day. And that is good enough for me right now.

At least I got my family to St. George where they love to play! We celebrated Paige's 12th birthday. Everyone had a great time while I was out suffering!

Aunt Clara's is the best place in the world!